I have always struggled with balance. I'm the kind of person that wants to hurtle into everything and figure out how to give all of myself to everything all at once. That, I have found, is very exhausting. It also makes it really difficult to truly give my best to all my commitments. When I'm busy trying to do all the things for all the people all of the time, I just end up needing to take a nice, long nap instead. Because of this, I really want to attempt a commitment to balance in every area of my life this year.
I want to make time for my own wellness; that means quiet moments to unplug and be still. It means going to the gym when I'd rather do basically anything else. It means not filling every moment of my day from the time I wake up until the time I can't stay awake any longer. Stillness is something that I think I have long undervalued. I want to get better at quiet.
I want to make time for relationships. This past semester, in particular, I would catch myself getting so caught up in the tasks of the day that I wasn't making the time for kids that I needed to make. If a kid asks me to read his fan fiction, I need to read it, give feedback, and support his writing. If girls come to my room just to hang out during lunch because high school is hard and kids can be mean, then emails and To Do List tasks can wait. All the busyness will be there after the fifteen minutes it takes to listen to them and remind them that there is a big, incredible world out there to conquer after high school. The same is true of personal relationships. This year I am so excited to get married, and I want to be present in every moment of this exciting time. I don't want to rush through any of it because every moment is an incredible gift.
Balance is hard for a lot of reasons, but I think the biggest reason it's hard for me is that I don't want to miss any opportunity. Saying "No" is just not something I am good at doing. But I think learning to stay in my lane is part of finding balance, and I'm excited to explore what that looks like this year.