Shortcuts and Back Roads

I said I was going to be better about blogging on a regular basis, so I'm trying to stay true to my word.  Today was DEAR day, just like every Friday.  During English, students Drop Everything and Read.  It's my favorite day of the week, because it means I get to read, too.  It also means I don't have to talk a lot or teach a lot.  So, really, the week (kind of) ends on Thursday.  However, in addition to reading today, I asked my students to annotate two short poems.....for weekend homework.  Ugh.  That dreaded thing that every student hates.  I know.  I felt awful.  But you simply can't get everything done in class.  It's impossible. 

I made it through most of the day without many complaints, but then 6th period walked in....Don't get me wrong, I love 6th period.  I blog about them all the time.  They've got personality, for sure, but sometimes with personality comes attitude.  Today they brought the attitude.  This conversation, in particular, stands out:

Student: "Ms. Herring, can't I just circle the word in the poem?  Why do I have to explain the connotation?"
Me: "Because I want to see your thinking.  I need to know why that word is important."
Student: (Whiney voice starts here) "But why?"
Me: "Why is it such a big deal?"
Student: "Because...it's just SO much more writing!"
Me: "Well then, why don't you just do it your way, since you obviously just want to argue with me after I've already given you an answer."
(Insert intense sighing, huffing, puffing, and muttering here)

It was frustrating for me, but also an understandable and rational complaint.  We all look for shortcuts everyday.  Why would do things the long and proper way when we can get there so much faster if we start cutting corners?  This question is applicable far beyond the realm of school work.  Think about our relationships.  How easy is it to cut corners there?  Text instead of call.  Narrow a friendship down to lunch once a month or an occassional "Hi, how are you" Facebook post.  We are always trying to cut down on the amount of effort we have to exert to get things done.

Having had a little time to reflect on this, I think there's something to be said for taking the back roads occassionally--for stretching things out and letting them dwell.  My favorite conversations with friends are the ones that start out as one cup of coffee and end up being five because we just can't stop talking.  I love those family dinners that are supposed to be an hour and last all night because we're laughing and telling stories and looking at old photographs.  The relationships that last are the ones that are grounded in the back roads.  They're an investment, so they're worth all our time. 

I know this is a far stretch from being frustrated with a student who wanted to shortcut my instructions, but it's true.  So the wisdom for today is to take a few back roads and see where they lead you.  I'm hoping to take a few this weekend, just to slow down and see where they take me.  I have a feeling they lead to a pretty great place.

Just a Little Bit of Catch-up Blogging

Ok, so I know I look like a total slacker for not blogging regularly the past few weeks, but I can honestly say that I have not had the time.  I'm blogging today on my prep period from school, because for some glorious reason, Central Office, in their infinite wisdom, has decided not to block blogspot at school.  Thanks for helping me out there, guys :)  Anyway, I've spent the past week having students give me a hard time about not blogging.  One student, in particular, has brought it up everyday for the past five days as soon as he walks into class.

"Ms. Herring, where is your blog?!"
"Ms. Herring, you haven't updated in forever!"
"Ms. Herring, you LIED.  I checked last night, and you did NOT blog."

Well ok, fine, here it is.  I'm not making excuses.  LOTS of blog-worthy things have happened over the past few weeks.  Here's a few.....

1. I dressed up as the witches from Wicked/The Wizard of OZ with my mentor teacher to celebrate Halloween/Spirit Week, which involved me wearing a prom dress all day while I taught.  Check out Facebook for some pretty excellent photos.
2. I found out that 7th grade boys really do make inappropriate comments in the hall about young student teachers and said student teacher's decision to wear skinny jeans with boots to school on Friday. NEVER AGAIN.
3. I mentioned that I was cold one day in class, to which 6th period giftgiver responded, "I could give you a hug to warm you up Ms. Herring." (I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried...)
4. I set up a private social network for my students, taught them to blog, and graded 142 of the blogs I taught them to write.
5. I presented their blogs at a curriculum conference, which was an exhausting and stressful, yet rewarding experience.
6. And finally, I realized I only have four weeks left at the middle school.

Four weeks.  I feel so many emotions when I think about that short amount of time.  Am I completely and utterly drained and exhausted?  YES.  Am I ready for a job where I get paid to work all day?  Most definitely.  But will I miss the funny things that happen everyday and the kids I feel like I've grown to know so well?  Very, very much so.  These kids have taught me so much, but more than that, they've given me so much to aspire to as a teacher.  I want every student I teach to be as special as the kids I have come to know this semester.  I feel like I have built relationships with my students based on trust.  They've shared their favorite football teams and music with me.  They've given me countless silly bands.  They've told me their secrets, and they've even shared their crushes and daily crises and victories with me.  Those things are what make me LOVE this job, and they are the things that will make it SO impossible to leave in December. 

But four weeks is still four weeks.  All the major assignments are almost complete.  So I promise to blog as much as humanly possible-- to document the little bit of time I have left to gain some wisdom from the middle.  For today, the wisdom is this: Savor every last minute of an experience.  Bask in the knowledge that the memories you make are yours forever.  I feel like I haven't wasted a single minute of my time here, and I want to continue to glory in all those little moments and snatches of talk, not just at the middle school, but in every aspect of life.  It's those tiny pieces of time that I know I'll look back on and love even more with the passage of time.  So, expect me to be more punctual in my blogging efforts.  I've got lots of last moments to savor.

Feeling Like a Food

At the end of last week I had a Show & Tell day with my classes.  Yes, I know that's typically a first grade activity, but it had a purpose in my middle school classes.  Each student had already formulated a theme or focus for the blog he or she is about to start as an assignment for my class.  Their assignment for Show & Tell was to bring in an item that represented their blog ideas.  Several boys brought in football helmets or jerseys from their football lockers.  A few brought in political cartoons.  Many students chose to focus on music by having a "playlist of their life" or a "song of the day" to describe the events of their day.  But one girl, in particular had a Show & Tell item that stood out to me.  She walked into 4th period with.....a coconut.

Now this item had all the more impact, because the student who brought it is so quiet and shy in class.  When I looked at her with a questioning expression on my face, she simply smiled her little smile and sat down in her seat to get ready for class, with her coconut staring at me from her desk on the front row.  What could she possibly be blogging about that can be represented by a coconut?!

We started Show & Tell and began going around the room.  Each student introduced their item and then related it to their writing.  Several students told beautiful explanations or personal connections they had to their item and their chosen blog theme. (Have I mentioned before that, whether or not the kids would admit it, I teach a whole bunch of overachievers?)  About halfway through, it was time for the coconut.  The sweet girl who brought it stood up in front of everyone, and with a big smile on her face, began explaining her blog.

"I plan to blog about what food I feel like everyday," she said.  Okay, this makes a little more sense....except I don't know many people who eat coconuts and I'm confused about how you feel like a coconut unless you just listened to a Jimmy Buffett song or like pina coladas....

Then she got around to explaining the coconut.  She told the class that most days, she feels like a coconut.  Like the coconut, she said, she has a hard outer shell that covers up what is vulnerable on the inside.  The hard outer shell wasn't meanness, she said, just a protection of what she didn't want anyone to know was inside of her.  She could show people the outside and keep up a certain appearance, without ever revealing her true self.  And, she said, it was very difficult for someone to crack into what she kept inside.

So that is how you feel like a coconut.

Well, needless to say, I was floored by this metaphor.  I never would have analyzed the connection she found in the way that she did; it never ceases to amaze me how insightful middle schoolers can be....and people act like it's such a tough age.  The more I've thought about the coconut over the weekend, the more I've realized that I'm just like her.  I am just like that coconut, too.  I cover up all the things that make me vulnerable, put on a smile, and focus on making the best of everyday, without ever showing most people my true thoughts or feelings.  We all do it.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm not some damaged soul who fakes happiness everyday just to get by.  I truly am in a wonderful place right now, and I love the activities and people that make up my life.  But I've experienced hurt and loss and betrayal just like everyone else has and will throughout their lifetime.  It just took a 14-year-old perspective for me to figure out that I, too, feel like a food most days.

Joining the String

I feel like I've gotten a little lazy in my blogging....but I'm also not going to tell a lie--the past week has maybe been the very busiest one of the semester so far.  In the past week I have:

• Uploaded what felt like a million assignments to my online teaching portfolio
• Switched my closet from spring/summer to fall/winter (YAY!)
• Finalized a thematic unit to teach to my classes
• Started a thematic unit of social networking with all my classes
• Cleaned my house thoroughly
• Finally took care of 2 1/2 to 3 weeks of laundry 
• Started a PowerPoint for a curriculum conference presentation
• Went grocery shopping for the first time in over a month

And most recently

• Got horribly sick and slept for 18 hours straight on Monday/Tuesday....it truly amazes me what utter exhaustion can do to the human body

However, now that all these tasks, both important and mundane, have been completed, I feel so much better about where I am in life.  I went back to school today after one miserable sick day and felt ready to take on the rest of the semester.

On Friday, I started my big "project" for the semester.  I'm teaching an eight-day unit themed around social networking.  The kids will work with Facebook "status updates," take Tweets and make grammatically correct sentences out of them, and, most importantly, they'll be starting their own blogs.  Their pre-assessment assignment was to write an essay about how social networking affects them and their society.  I was really surprised by the range of answers I received.

Of course, I received what I expected from lots of students--"I'm addicted to Facebook" and "Social networking is my life" were common answers on several essays.  However, I also got several student responses that thoughtfully considered the negative effects that social networking has had on their generation.  One response from a 7th grade boy struck me as both thought provoking and beautifully written.  This is what he wrote:

I feel sort of like I'm in a box.  It's fairly large and translucent, but it's a box nonetheless.  I can see, feel, hear, taste, and smell everything in my box, but that's it.  I don't know if there's anything outside.  When I see everybody else--my sisters, friends, and just about everything else, I look at their long arms, ears, and eyes, and see how deformed they look.  They're all tied together with strings.  Social networking cuts out their tongues and breaks their legs.  They don't talk, don't move.  I may be in a box, but it's airtight and free from contamination.  I'm still human.


This is maybe the most beautiful extended metaphor I've ever heard about social networking.  The abstract thinking that this student portrayed in his writing took my breath away.  But isn't it also so true?  Sometimes I wish I was in a box like him, shut out from the world and it's problems and drama.  When I was sick and slept for 18 hours straight, it was kind of like being in his box.  I got a break from Facebook, the news, and every other personal distraction for almost a whole day, and when I came back I felt like I had missed out on so much.  I'm stuck in the string.  So many of us are.  The wisdom of this week is this: If you're going to be stuck in the string, be the positive part.  Several of my students talked about the negative drama that social networking brings about.  We all need to  take a step back and be the positive part of all our networks, whether they're school, family, friend, or online networks.  Be the change you wish to see in all your worlds this week, and I'll try to do the same.

Excerpt from 6th Period

Yesterday in 6th period, the class was seriously talkative and unfocused.  It didn't matter what I did, five minutes after I had achieved some semblance of order we were back to talking and moving quickly off-task.  This conversation took place as I was reaching a point of major frustration....

Me: Ok, guys, PLEASE stop talking.  It just breaks my heart when you talk!  You know what?  I'm going to make a big heart with lots of pieces and hang it on the wall.  When you talk, I'm going to go take a piece off and hand it to you so you have to think about how sad it makes me when you don't focus!

It goes quiet for a second, and then....

8th grade boy: So if I talk, you'll give me a piece of your heart?!  I'm never gonna shutup!

Needless to say, my discipline technique was an epic fail.  I think the lesson here is pretty obvious: ALWAYS think before you speak.

More to come tomorrow......

PostSecret

In 2005, Frank Warren started the Post Secret project.  He sent out 3,000 blank postcards and asked their recipients to follow three simple steps:

1. Tell a secret you've never told anyone.
2. Be creative.
3. Mail it back.

The response was explosive.  I had heard about Warren's book when it was first published in 2007, but I saw the book with all the postcards for the first time last week when one of my students brought it in for me.  Reading random strangers' secrets felt forbidden, but it was so cathartic.  Some secrets were funny, some were heartbreaking, and some were heartbreakingly funny.  However, the common theme in all the postcards was that it laid out peoples' flaws.  They all got something off their chests anonymously that they were so scared to share, if it could be connected to them.  I immediately connected.  I can think of several things I have never, and will never tell anyone because I'm SO afraid.  I just know that the minute I shared my secret, someone would judge me.  I mean, I have best friends--dear friends who know intimate details of my life.  But there are just some things I think we all feel sure would shock even our closest confidantes.  Those are the secrets we bury deep inside.  They're the secrets we cover up by finding a million things to keep our minds busy, so we can pretend like it's really not there.

Middle schoolers have those secrets, too.  Middle school and middle adolescence is a time in life when we're the most vulnerable.  We still have to rely on the adults around us, but we want to be adults so badly. It's when we start to make adult decisions and probably feel the repercussions of those adult decisions, both positive and negative.  So I thought it might be good to share Post Secret with my students.  Last Thursday for our bellringer, I shared the book with my classes.  I read them some of the secrets and gave them one requirement--be honest with yourself.  I told them they didn't have to share their secrets with me.  They could rip them up, burn them when they got home, whatever they wanted.

However, I did have several students turn in their secrets anonymously.  And when I say several, I mean the majority.  When I got home from school, I read all the secrets my students shared with me.  I sat down in my living room and read all those secrets with tears pouring down my face.  I can't share their secrets, because it would break their confidence, but I can tell you that you can never read a kid by their cover.  Why did so many of my students want me to read their secrets?  It's the same reason I wrote down my own secrets.  We just need to get it out.  We need to feel like we can get rid of our darkest places.  Sure, they're still there.  The things we've done or the thoughts we hate that we have are still there, but knowing that someone else took part of our pain makes it just a tiny bit better.

I took a little bit of that pain from my kids, and I wish I could take all of it.  So what I learned from this activity is this: Don't be afraid to take a deep breath and just let it all out.  We need to share and grow and move forward, and we can't do that by bottling up the things that hurt us or kill us slowly everyday.  So find a person or a piece of paper or a postcard--whatever you need, and let out a little bit of pain.  It'll make tomorrow seem so much more doable than today.

Do What You Love, Love What You Do

Today may have been the best birthday I have ever had.  I walked into school this morning running on four hours of sleep and exhausted.  I was anything but ready for another day.  I started to get the classroom ready for the day, wrote out the bellringer, changed the objectives and dates on the board, and in walked two girls from my 5th period class, to wish me a happy birthday and bringing me flowers and candy.

Um, have I mentioned lately that I love my job?

These kinds of things happened all day.  Immediately after the flowers arrived and my mentor teacher went to find a vase, a group of girls from 4th period came in to deliver "birthday hugs."  My 1st and 6th period classes both delivered rousing renditions of "Happy Birthday" as soon as the bell rang for their classes to start, and I received handmade cards and silly bands all day.  The 6th period gift-giver even made me a necklace out of paper clips....pretty labor-intensive if you ask me.

Here's the thing -- I really do teach the most wonderful students in the world.  It's pretty rare that you get to spend the majority of your workday laughing.  I get to do that.  I love how something funny or unexpected always happens in my class.  I love how I spend my entire day smiling.  I LOVE how teaching these students makes me want to be the very best teacher I can possibly be, because I feel like they deserve even more than that.  Getting to know my students this semester has brought so much joy and fulfillment into my life.  As I was driving home today, I couldn't help but think about how sad I'll be in December when I have to leave.  But today, I don't have to think about that.  Today, it's my birthday, and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.  And tomorrow I'll get to go back and do what I love all over again.